We have all asked ourselves this question at one time or another. There is no easy way to answer it, but rather to look deep into your own mind and try to find the answers.

It is impossible to be fully in control of your life, because we all have constraints and rules that we have to follow. This fact might cause anger for you, perhaps due to experience with a very strict or rigid parent or other authority figure.

We all have commitments to uphold, rules to follow, people to deal with, and bad situations to live through. Anger can occur for many reasons, but it is very important to learn how to cope with your anger. You can either let your anger be destructive, or you can work through it and become a happier, more stable person.

Anger is inevitable. It is best to learn effective coping mechanisms, rather than to let anger overtake you and adversely affect you and those in your life.

Anxiety and depression are commonly associated with those who experience a great deal of anger. There are ways to treat these problems that might get you on a road to more balance.

For example, if you suffer from anxiety attacks, try consulting a therapist, who can prescribe a treatment called Buspirione, which treats anxiety with minimal side effects. And if you suffer with Depression, your therapist can prescribe one of many serotonin-specific reuptake inhibitors that carry virtually no risks.

You might also want to consider the natural route. Something like Kava Kava is a great herbal remedy for relieving stress and anxiety. In addition, regular exercise and a healthy diet can help to offset the effects of these disorders.

Start off slowly, and build up to a regular routine that fits into your schedule. Getting healthy will renew your attitude, which will help to control your anger.

In all marriages, there comes a time when stress takes its toll on the relationship. Whether the issues are with money, children, or household chores, it doesn’t really matter. After awhile, it seems like all you do anymore is argue and bicker, even over things that don’t really matter. But don’t worry; things can get better if you really want them to. All you need to do is learn how to deal with you or your spouse’s anger, and stick with a method that works.

Here are a few methods to help you and your spouse deal with anger during an argument:

Listen to your partner. It’s only natural to throw back insulting or accusatory remarks when someone is attacking your character. But when you do this you’re not making the situation any better, you’re just making it worse. Try not to play dirty by saying things that will hurt your spouse in return. Wait until they are done yelling, and then try to lead the argument in a calmer direction.

Learn to take responsibility for your part of their anger. There’s a chance you may have subconsciously provoked his or her anger. Think carefully about anything you may have said or done to set them off. If it is something you can avoid, maybe you can try to steer clear of this type of behavior in the future, for the sake of your marriage.

Validate your spouse’s feelings of anger. You won’t solve anything if you dismiss their emotions as futile or stupid. People can’t help the way they feel, and being told that they shouldn’t “feel” a certain way will only fuel more anger. Do your best not to judge your spouse’s feelings and emotions.

Call a “time out.” We use it with our children because it works. Why shouldn’t we use it with our spouse? If you feel the argument escalating out of control, take a step back and let your spouse know that you will not continue with this conversation if they can’t control their anger. Take a “time out” and continue the conversation later on when both of you have calmed down and are thinking more rationally.

No matter what type of business we are involved in, our
success is in part determined by how well we deal with
people. We need to present ourselves as confident, decisive
and assertive.

LET'S NOT OVERDO IT

Sometimes, however, our efforts to show our assertiveness
cross the line. We end up coming across as rude, aggressive
or downright belligerent.

Let’s clarify the major distinctions.

ASSERTIVENESS VS. AGGRESSIVENESS

In any situation where your rights or space are being
violated, there are generally three options available to
you. You can:

1) Be submissive, say nothing, and fume in silence.

2) Be aggressive and hostile, which will probably just
fuel the fire.

3) Calmly and politely assert your interests.

Sometimes when we feel compelled to speak up, we can easily
lose sight of the fact that we just want to stop the
offensive behavior, period. We do not need to humiliate the
other person, nor do we need to humiliate ourselves by
overreacting.